RULES OF CONDUCT
Below are the Rules of Conduct for Stone and Stang. Please read these carefully! Everyone who has registered to attend Stone and Stang will be expected to comply with these Rules of Conduct. Violations of the Rules of Conduct are ground for dismissal from the event without a refund.
Registration Check-in and Lodging
When first arriving at the location you will need to check in at the registration desk or with one of our organizers. They will check your driver’s license, ask you to sign a safety waiver, peace bond any ritual blades and will issue you a participant bracelet. Your bracelet must be on at all times to identify you as a registered attendee (don’t worry they are waterproof). The check in area will be open from 3 pm on Friday to 11pm, so please arrive during open hours for check-in.
Attendance of Stone and Stang is limited to men age 21 and older, who identify as men-who-love-men (queer, bi, gay) who are pagan or of alternative spiritual paths. Trans-men are welcome to attend as long as they identify as men-who-love-men and have completed sufficient gender transition to be legally male (driver’s license or state ID says male). Stone and Stang is open to newcomers as well as more experienced participants. This is a private event and is not open to the public, nor to the media. All participants must pre-register to attend.
The location is private property and not open to visitors. The organizers of Stone and Stang reserve the right to refuse entry to anyone, and to dismiss anyone, who does not comply with the rules of conduct or local laws.
Stone and Stang opens on Friday October 5th, 2018 at 3pm and all attendees must be out by 2pm on Monday October 8th, 2018. Please do not arrive any earlier than the opening time nor plan on staying any later than our closing time.
There is parking on the property. Please follow all posted signs. Lock your doors at night and hide any valuables from sight while your car is parked. If your vehicle is leaking fluids place a piece of cardboard under the car to catch those liquids as to prevent any harm to the land. Carpooling is a good idea to conserve as much of our parking space as possible. Please visit our Stone and
Stang Facebook Page for carpools and shared travel arrangements.
The location is a private property surrounded by redwood forests and the Santa Cruz Mountains. Please respect the natural inhabitants of the land, do not feed wildlife and keep on marked trails.
Clean up your mess and remember to leave things cleaner than you found them. If you elect to participate without clothing (this is a clothing optional event) remember that you must dress in clothing before you leave the property, or before you approach the main gate.
We do not supply tents or bedding material for those who camp, so please prepare accordingly. Camper vans and recreational vehicles are not permitted. Please locate your campsite respectfully, clearly marking any posts, stakes, or guide lines with light colored markers (strips of cloth) as to prevent any tripping hazards. While camping at night, please respect your neighbors by keeping quiet so that we can all sleep peacefully. Review the list of items further down the confirmation letter, which you should bring if you are camping. Feel free to decorate your tent or campsite to reflect your own spiritual path, just make sure that whatever you bring with you goes back home with you.
For attendees that are sleeping in the Dormitory, bedding is provided but feel free to bring any additional blankets or pillows you need. Earplugs are also a good idea in case you are sensitive to any noises. Please be a good neighbor and keep quiet after sleeping hours have commenced, so that all attendees can sleep restfully. Review the list further down the registration confirmation for items you should bring if you are lodging indoors.
For those who opted for a tipi, please bring your own mats and bedding as it is an earthen floor.
Clothing Optional Event
Stone and Stang is a clothing optional event in order to grant attendees a level of freedom, comfort and natural connection to the environment that mundane life does not offer. You can wear clothes or not – it’s up to you. Clothing, however, is required in any kitchen and in the glass classroom. If you are nude, always have something to sit on like a towel, and please put it down before you sit on any surface or chair. All attendees are required to be publicly presentable in clothing when outside of the walls of the location, or near the entry gates.
Keep in mind that within Pagan culture, nudity is not an invitation to have sex. This is a spiritual gathering, not a sex party. Please be respectful of others’ sovereignty and review our guidelines for Sexual Etiquette below.
If you’re new to large spiritual gatherings we invite you to attend an orientation meeting to know what to look out for. Orientation Meetings are held each morning before the first round of classes. We’ll cover the major classes and events taking place that day as well as pass on any news that has come up in the last 24 hours. These meetings are brief but provide you with an opportunity to have a question and answer session with the coordinators regarding operations and the event in general.
Alcohol and Tobacco
Alcohol is permitted at our event but please use it in moderation and consistently with the spiritual orientation of our event. Be respectful of those who are abstaining from alcohol and do not try to pressure others into drinking. Out-of-control drunken behavior will not be tolerated. If you smoke, please be respectful of those who do not, by smoking only in the smoking areas. Make sure to dispose of your butts by first ensuring they are completely extinguished, then depositing them in tin can receptacles to avoid any risk of brush fire or littering. Illicit drug use is not permitted at our event and is grounds for dismissal. Be responsible and respectful of yourself and others, no matter what you take, drink or smoke. If your behavior is out of control or disruptive, one of the event organizers can and will ask you to leave with no refunds.
Illegal Drugs and Substances
Please do not bring any illegal drugs to Stone and Stang; they are not permitted at our event. If you have a medical marijuana recommendation from your physician and opt to bring medical marijuana to the event, please remember that by California state law you are not allowed to share it with anyone, and you must have your recommendation certificate with embossed seal on you when taking medical marijuana. Please remember that it is best to be mentally alert and clear during rituals and workshops and we do not recommend attending any such events while under the influence of medical marijuana.
The location is off the grid and is powered entirely by solar power; however Electrical outlets are available in the main house and cabins for those who need them. Please be respectful of those who require outlets for equipment, such as CPAP machines.
Fires and Firewood
Fires are permitted in designated areas and firewood will be available.
Cell Phones and Communication
The location is off the grid and we cannot guarantee service will be available; should you find you have cell service, we ask that you keep your cell phones turned off during presentations and rituals. Do not bring your cell phones to a ritual or into sacred space. Try unplugging… it can be incredibly liberating. If you need to use a phone to remind you to take prescription medications on time, just make sure you let the person leading the presentation know if you think the alarm may go off during their event, or use a silent/vibrating alarm.
Grounding and Centering
Spiritual gatherings like Stone and Stang are energetically intense and exciting. It can easily become energetically overwhelming even for the most experienced spiritual worker. We highly recommend taking some time to ground and center in a quiet space from time to time. This will not only make the weekend more pleasant but will also give you time to absorb some of the spiritual information you’ve received and memories you’ve experienced while at our event.
A first aid kit will be located in main house. Feel free to use these for small injuries like cuts, bruises, burns or bites. For all other needs bring your own medication (pain relief, antacids, etc.). If you are on prescription medication please bring your medications with you and make sure to set notifications or some kind of alert to take them on time. Feel free to bring your own First Aid Kits and supplies too. Upon arriving at the location, EVERYONE WILL BE REQUIRED TO SIGN A WAIVER. If you hurt yourself, it’s your own responsibility.
Drink plenty of water throughout the weekend. It is a good idea to bring at least one gallon of water per day you are attending, per person to drink. If you are bringing alcohol to drink, bring extra water to stay hydrated. Central California can be hot, dry and sunny at the time of year when Stone and Stang takes place. Definitely wear your sunscreen to protect from a wicked sunburn. Wearing a hat to protect from sun is also a good idea. Wear bug repellent to keep flies and mosquitoes away. Please be cautious, wear proper footwear, use a lantern or flashlight at night and don’t go looking for ways to hurt yourself.
Existing Health Conditions
If you have an existing health condition please indicate so on your waiver and also let some of the organizers know so that they can keep an eye out for you. You are responsible for bringing any prescription medications you may be on and taking them when needed. While we are relatively close to civilization if you have a health condition that can rapidly deteriorate when neglected, we recommend you bring anything you may need for emergency treatment and let the organizers know at check in. People with physically or mentally unstable or severe conditions should not attend Stone and Stang at all. We do not have the staff to care for you and make sure your needs are taken care of. If you are on any antidepressants or other mood altering medications please continue to take them throughout the weekend. We cannot guarantee an electrical hook up will be available for any CPAP machines or other devices but we will do our best.
Please be respectful of our attendees and refrain from any loud noise after 10pm. This will help those who are camping and trying to get a good night’s rest. If you are asked by the coordinators to quiet down please take this warning seriously as we do not want our rural neighbors calling the authorities to come harass us in the middle of our spiritual weekend.
Firearms, Fireworks, Blades and Weapons
Firearms, fireworks and weapons are not permitted at the event. Do not bring them. Ritual blades must be kept sheathed throughout the weekend. If you bring a ritual blade or any weapon with you to the event, please bring it to one of the coordinators to have it peace bonded when you sign in at registration and sign your waiver. When in doubt, leave your blades at home.
Fire-Spinning and Fire Poi
Fire spinning and fire play are not permitted at our event. It presents a fire hazard and we do not want to risk any wildfires.
Pets and other Animals
Pets are not permitted at Stone and Stang. If you need to bring a service animal please use the Contact Us page on the website to notify the coordinators in advance. Companion animals do not qualify as service animals. Please leave them at home. Anyone who brings an unapproved animal to the event will be sent home and no refund will be provided.
Photography and Electronic Recording
Because of the spiritual nature of our event and the liminal nature of paganism and other alternative religions, we act that you protect the privacy of those who are attending and not take any photos of those who are present without asking permission first. If there are any people in the background make sure they are notified that you are going to take a photo and get their permission before shooting your picture. Please keep these rules in mind.
- All people who may appear in your photo, including those in the background, must grant you permission before you take your photo
- Photography or recording of presentations is not permitted without the authority of the presenter
- Photographs or recordings of nudity or sexual activity are not permitted
- Commercial use of photography or electronic recordings of events or people at Stone and Stang are not permitted (except by organizers for promotion of the event)
- Publishing (in all media formats including Facebook), or distribution of photos or recordings taken at Stone and Stang by attendees is not permitted
- Some photography or recording may be done by Stone and Stang organizers for archival and marketing purposes of the event. If you have any questions, see the facilitators or the Staff photographer for more information.
Trash and Recycling
Trash and recyclable containers will be available throughout the property. Please do your part to respect the property and the land by making sure trash gets into a trash can somewhere. Even if it is not your trash – help by picking up as you find things. Food items will be cleared immediately at the conclusion of our lunch and dinner breaks so please make sure to clean any dishes you used
in the preparation of your meal or they will get tossed out. Cigarette butts are one of the most common forms of litter. Make sure they are properly extinguished and put either in tin cans throughout the property or in trash cans. Keep the property clean throughout the weekend and leave everything cleaner than you found it.
Respect and Community
Please be considerate of all other attendees, including those whose national origin, spiritual path, race or other traits may differ from your own. Be sensitive to the unique qualities we each bring to the gathering. We encourage you to learn more and reach out to folks who are different than you in the effort to build community, understanding and mutual respect in our tribe. Open communication is welcome, but grand-standing and proselytizing is not.
Always defer to the Stone and Stang Organizers and Guardians when at the event.
Pagan rituals are usually participatory in nature. Once a ritual has commenced it is important that you not leave or cross any energetic boundaries that have been raised. If you are concerned about your comfort level in any of our rituals,
it is your responsibility to seek out the person leading the ritual and ask about the nature of the ceremony. If you are concerned that you may be uncomfortable with the content of the ritual, err on the conservative side and do not attend. It is better to abstain from the ritual than to leave in the middle of it. There are no pictures or recordings allowed in the ceremony unless the organizer and all attendees of the ritual have given their consent. Please be considerate of others’ time and do not arrive late to any rituals or workshops. Leave your cell phones, radios, or any other electronic devices with your personal sleeping space. Do not bring them to rituals. Do not attend rituals under the effect of alcohol or any illicit substances. Mental and spiritual clarity are an important part of pagan ritual space. Many rituals will utilize burned incense and other aromatic substances. If you are sensitive to these materials please abstain from attending the ritual. Ask the ritual organizer beforehand if you are concerned. It is traditional to partake in ritual libations, often times alcoholic in nature. If you do not drink alcohol, simply kiss the side of the glass or hold it up in an act of communal gratitude and pass the cup on without drinking any. If you are in recovery and are uncomfortable with the presence of alcohol in a ceremony, please ask the ritual leader before participating so that you can opt out of attending.
Throughout the event, we will have specially appointed individuals called “Guardians” to act as Security personnel. Organizers and Guardians are tasked first and foremost with the safety of the event. If a question around safety arises, the Organizers and Guardians will have the final say in what is acceptable for the event. You are required to follow the orders of any Organizer or Guardian throughout the weekend. Not attending to an Organizer or Guardian’s official instructions will result in expulsion from Stone and Stang and a possible barring from attending future events. We do not accept registrations for Stone and Stang at the gate of the event, and will ask those individuals to leave. If there is a question about someone’s registration status, please contact a Guardian or Organizer to attend to the matter, and allow them to escort the individual off the property.
This is a Men-Who-Love-Men (MWLM) gathering and as such the norms for social behavior are less restrictive. Stone and Stang is an all-adult event AND the participants are expected to conduct and treat each other in a mature and respectful manner. We want to ensure a safe haven for all during the event and respect each other’s Godhood. This entails respecting the physical body and holding with integrity the choices and actions we make. Please keep the following rules in mind:
First – No means NO. We all have differing views on sexual acts, sexual intimacy, personal space, and attraction. Participation in events at the gathering is not consent, nor is nudity an open invitation to touch. Anyone who has issues with understanding this should not attend our weekend. Violations of respect and trust will result in immediate expulsion from the weekend and a bar from attending future events. If someone should touch you or address you in a manner you do not like, make the person aware of your feelings in a calm and respectful manner, and ask for the disliked action to immediately cease. If the action does not cease, inform an Organizer or Guardian immediately to assist you with the situation.
Second – Practice Safe(r) Sex – Please use condoms and appropriate lubricant for the condoms you select. Do not share sex toys and please make all decisions around sexual intimacy while sober and clear of mind. If you have a sexually transmitted disease, inform your sexual partner(s) before engaging in sexual intimacy. Please be knowledgeable of others and use discretion as to where you will have sex. Please do not use the public bathrooms for sex; respect them as a space shared by all participants.
Third – Polyamory/Open Relationships. The openness and closeness of a MWLM event often leads to questions about monogamy and the bounds of a relationship. Rash decisions that seem good ‘in the moment’ may be regretted later. As such do not decide ‘at the event’ to experiment with Polyamory. If you are interested in Polyamory there will be those at the event open to dialogue about it.
Fourth – Please treat one another like the Gods we are. Be honest with yourself and others. Take time to reflect on your actions before engaging in them. Leave bar and bathhouse mentalities at home. Come with respect and love to explore with your brothers and grow spiritually.
Showers, Bathrooms, and Hot Tub
There are showers in the guest house and solar paneled showers on the property as well. In order to keep our facilities clean you are required to rinse off before going into the hot tub. Please do your part to keep these areas clean and free of puddles. Wipe down the counters after you are done using the sink to keep the area dry. You can wear bathing suits or go nude in the hot tub – both are permitted. Please do not have any sexual encounters in the bathrooms, showers, or hot tub out of respect for hygiene and other guests. There are towels provided, but there is a limited supply and must be laundered, so please bring your own towels if possible.
Every attendee of Stone and Stang will be expected to help with the maintenance of our facility. These duties can include, but are not limited to: cleaning bathrooms, taking out trash and recyclables, stacking chairs, tending fire, etc. When you check in to our event, you will be given a card with your work shift, and supervisor’s name. Please check in with your supervisor at the time indicated for your work shift and ask them what needs to be done. When your task is completed, please check back with your supervisor to have them sign off on the work. Many hands make light work and by everyone checking in, we will all keep the location clean, beautiful and a pleasure to enjoy.by